Nervous....

I've been really nervous about getting everything ready for the big day- it's been affecting how much I've been writing.  To be clear- I'm not nervous about getting married- I'm nervous about everything coming together, everything being taken care of, all the T's crossed and all the I's dotted....

There are so many expectations of what the big day should look like, what should be included- that it's tough.  You start to feel like if you cut a corner or leave something out or don't get the top of the line whatever-it-is you're going to disappoint someone.  My fiance and I have come to terms with not being able to have the biggest most elaborate wedding reception EVER.  At the end of the day,  I end up worrying that what isn't as important to us will wreak havoc on us from the external forces- which we have no control over. 

I'm constantly reminding myself that it's about what we want and what we are comfortable with.  It becomes difficult though with all of the wedding hype, the expectations- of what "HAS TO BE". 

I've started to become concerned, that while I don't feel like a Bridezilla, others that I interact with may shy away if there are too many cooks in the kitchen.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?  What did you do?  I've tried to talk to the individual but my attempts to talk reasonably seem to go unheard. *SIGH*

I read the book that I included above- it's a lot about how the big white wedding wasn't a big white wedding until after World War II.  Reading this book helped to keep me grounded and focused on the why of the big day- instead of the what and how much and can we push the envelope and the budget over the edge?

I can't justify spending outside of our means, and I can't justify spending money that is "anticipated".

My worst fear- above all others- is that if we do outdo ourselves (and our bank accounts!)  is that we won't be able to pay the balance of things when they are due.  A meal promised to attendees.... will end up with no food at all.  To me, that would be the most embarassing thing- to have said "yes we can" when no... no we couldn't....